The Art of Keeping Pedalling
Image description: Riding into the sunset towards Shenavall Bothy.
Things I learnt through bikepacking races, and wished I’d known for my thesis: Elizabeth Adams (@researchdreams) is the Researcher Development Manager at the University of Glasgow and, when not working, is mostly riding bikes or pouring over a map planning adventures.
At the time I did my PhD, nobody talked about mental health. I think things are improving but it’s still rare that I come across someone who has thought in advance about how they will manage their mental health when things get tough.
As a long-distance bike racer, this is something I’ve had to actively think about and plan for. If one thing is guaranteed on a long bike trip, it’s that, at some point, you will feel cold, hungry, lost, tired, scared, lonely, unsure how to fix a thing that’s broken, or quite possibly all of the above. Sound similar to a PhD?
Like a long bike ride, a PhD is a personal journey, with highs and lows, as well as the occasional bout of boredom and hopefully a lot of cake. Sometimes you wonder why you’re doing it and whether you’re good enough.
Fortunately, the bikepacking community has many people who are open to talking about these sorts of things and I’ve had the benefit of working with fantastic coaches, who encouraged me to put effort into preparing for the psychological aspects of racing, in the same way I would for the physical. Here are some of the things I’ve learnt along the way.
Know why you are doing it
Way in advance, write down your reasons for doing this. That way, you already have the answer banked. I took my bit of paper with me.
Thinking about this in advance also helps you prioritise opportunities. For one of my friends, the joy of an all-night race is spotting wildlife in the quiet the early morning. If you know this is important, then you’re more likely to allow yourself to prioritise it – to stop and take the time to watch something stirring in the bushes, knowing this is a valuable use of your time, rather than rushing on by because you’re in full on race panic mode. If you’ve written down that is important to you, then make sure you find the time for it. Next time you’re feeling good about the PhD, write down all the different aspects you appreciate, and what you want to be open to in terms of opportunities.
Never give up when you are ‘hangry’ (=hungry + angry)
There is a common bikepacking mantra ‘never scratch at night. That is, don’t pull out of the race when it’s dark and you’re feeling vulnerable. Things always feel better when the sun rises.
My dark and low time is when hunger makes me miserable. Food shops are scarce in the North of Scotland, and not always open. So, if I’m feeling particularly low during a race, I ask myself whether there is another, more fixable reason (like hunger, or sleep, or darkness) which is making the situation feel overwhelming. And, if it’s not fixable right away, can I delay making any bigger decisions until it’s been addressed.
I use a whole raft of delaying tactics to tacklet negative thoughts. If I feel like I am spiralling into a negative place (while waiting for that next cake stop), I’ll visualise a red stop sign, just to break that train of thoughts. And then I’ll play alphabet games in my head, to pass the time, and stop myself foucsing on things that are out of my control right now.
For me, the PhD equivalent was not giving up in 2nd year, when the initial enthusiasm had worn off but I felt like nothing had worked so far. Sometimes you just need to ride things out and believe they will get better.
Value the people round about you
I remember when I was racing in the Highland Trail 550 (HT550 -a self-supported race in the North of Scotland, which takes anything between 3 and 7 days and where the clock never stops) - anytime I pulled up outside a café and saw another muddy bikepacking bike set-up, my spirits would lift. I’d just go join the other racer at a table. No need for explanations as to why I was scruffy and stinky, or why I was ordering 5 bits of cake. In fact, they didn’t need me to talk at all. They knew what I was doing and why, and, in silent solidarity, would offer me some of their chips.
A friend who wasn’t racing that year, but who had given me some great advice before the race, had followed my progress on the online tracker. I got a flash of mobile reception and a text from him as I was traversing the ‘postman’s path’ down the side of Loch Maree. This is an infamous bit of the course - tussocky and practically unrideable, especially five days into a race. Other than two walkers, I hadn’t seen another person all day. Just that one text at exactly the right point made everything seem a bit brighter.
I think during your PhD you need two sorts of people. There are the ones who really get it and can support you with practical advice or just silent solidarity. But you also need the cheerleaders. The ones who don’t have a clue why you’re doing this but think you are amazing, know it’s important to you and will give you their full support.
My mum and dad have never done a bike race in their lives, but learnt twitter so they could follow me on the race and were more than happy for me to ring them to tell them that I’d seen a glorious sunrise, or that my legs hurt or I’d found a shop which sold actual hummus and carrots and I couldn’t be happier. And they’d pretend like all of those things were normal.
As a PhD student, it’s important that you explore the professional, subject and PGR communities that are open to you – Twitter can also be a great way of doing this if in person networking is challenging. But also don’t forget your friends and family who don’t care what your PhD is about.
Whatever the path your PhD takes you on, I hope that it has as many good cakes and as many amazing sunsets as my Highland Trail 550 journey did. And don’t forget that duct tape and cable ties fix pretty much everything.
