Love Letter 2021: Most Romantic (Winner)

The 2021 Love Letter to Your Thesis competition was the biggest yet, with so many incredible entries! Here is the winning letter in the “Most Romantic” category from Abi Jenkins…

Dear thesis,

You were meant to be a small part of my life.

I thought you would help to fill my days, imparting renewed focus on long and rainy afternoons. I thought you would provide a tidy reason to move back to Glasgow. I thought you would be a beloved adventure I could hold to one precious side of my life, like hiking or skiing or knitting. I imagined sitting at the pub, with a pint in my hand, citing new research in my field in some hot debate with some other doctoral candidate. Winning (and drunk) I’d laugh, and they’d laugh. They’d say, “I can’t wait to read your thesis.”

You were meant to be entirely mine.

I dreamt of defending you, wearing tweed and loafers and expounding on your intricate web of scholarship and analysis with pride. I dreamt of holding you - hard-bound in foil-stamped blue library cloth and printed on archival-quality 120gsm cotton paper - and placing you proudly on my shelf among tidily organised Paperchase binders and Moleskines packed with inky notes. 

However, you have been neither adventure nor object.

I did not realise you would take up a presence in my life, growing over the years to flex around and through so much upheaval and chaos as to reveal a rawness of heart and softness of soul. My grief sings through pages unfinished and references half-written; my fear hovers in tentative phrases (“it can be argued that”); my joy radiates through small, original discoveries.

You are wound up in me, and I in you.

I wonder if we will ever disentangle.

Perhaps by this time next year, I’ll know.

Yours truly,

Abs

PS. Please have a read of the updated plan for completion!! Stop buying new books!!!