Start That Thesis - from a Thesis pending student

The most important part of my Ph.D. studies arrived. Warnings signs were all along the way from the last 4 years, but for one or other reason (I called them totally excuses now) I was always ignoring it. And yes, I am talking about writing your Ph.D. thesis. The thing I was always ALWAYS fearing since day one of my studies. Thinking back, I spent so much time on “planning” about when to start writing instead of actually doing it; I made long lists of topics I needed to discuss regarding my research results and my experiments outcomes. But it was just that. Plans and lists. But nothing else.

Then it became a cycle: having a breakdown because I have not done any progress with my writing, then making a list of priorities on a Friday night thinking all the words I was going to get done the next following week and having that rush of excitement about finally I will start my thesis. Then, Monday came and a “a lot was on my plate” so my writing could not start this day. Understandable, you are helping others; understandable, somebody needs your support in the laboratory as they are new; understandable, your supervisor wants to try a new hypothesis and you are the student, you need to help; understandable, you still have years to do it. The list goes on about thousands of reasons why you are not prioritizing one of the most important requirements within your postgraduate studies.

Well, I am very new into writing blogs. I think this is the second time that I have done this in my entire life. I will never have time to do this – that is my favourite phase. However, I thought it was time for me to talk to fellow PGR about my own experience and share some “mistakes” I did the last four years. The power of knowledge is indescribable, and I love to share it. I do not think this is advice or useful tips so you can bring them to your life, but it is a reflection about my own life during the last four years. If this blog makes you relate with your experience or at least it leaves you thinking, I would be so pleased.

I decided to remain anonymous as I am still working on myself and not feeling bad about how I feel (hilarious). I am still work in progress.

The mistakes – sorry, what I have learned

Put your personal life and your mental health first. Yes, you are doing a  Ph.D. thesis, and it is one of the most difficult things you might be doing. It is really hard, and it is really time consuming. But it is not everything. It is not your life, and it does not come first. I have struggled with anxiety disorder, panic attacks, and depression in different stages of the last four years, and one of the reasons was putting my studies before anything and everyone else. I forgot about my family, the activities that bring me joy, and about myself. Putting everything second or third for the sake of being the best at my postgraduate studies. I have learned so much from it and I still struggling with all of these now. But I have a new perspective and I am still working on having a balance between my studies and my life. Put yourself first. If you are not okay, then nothing will be, including your Ph.D.

Oh the joys of being a people pleaser. Since we are kids, sometimes it sticks to our minds that we need to always be happy and available to help others. We always said: “whatever you need, do let me know”. And please do not get me wrong, of course I would love to help if somebody needs my support or input, but sometimes we just cannot do it and we still saying yes, compromising our own priorities and needs. I tend to confuse courtesy with pleasing everyone even on top of my own, just because I have (still, working on it) this reckless feeling that I don’t want to disappoint anyone. Or what would people think about me if I say NO… Say no. Say, “I would love to help, but I cannot do it/I do not have more time right now”. You are not doing anything bad; you are not disappointing anybody. Actually, you are putting your priorities first, and you are also being considerate. If we say yes to everything and everyone, we are definitely let someone down and that is not so good; but sometimes the person who is let down is yourself and that is terrible. Saying no is a really hard skill to get, specially in academia and research, but when you feel comfortable to say that very simple and short word, everything does get better and so much space gets free.

Ask for feedback. It took me a while to accept and recognise that feedback is necessary but also so important for our own development. Outsider opinions regarding your writing can be highly valuable as we get new and fresh ideas from another perspective, developing our writing skills and why not? If we get such positive feedback, it will make us feel good about ourselves. Never bad to have a boost once in a while regarding our research and how much work we put into it. Now, one of the only opinions that I care about is when it comes from my peers or my supervisory team. Trust them.

Ask for help. I have always been so proud about asking for help. I felt like if you encounter a problem during your research or during your experiments, and then ask a colleague, they will think how you cannot know if you are doing a Ph.D. thesis, or why you are not searching on the Internet and solve it yourself. Surprise, it has never been like that. It was just in my head. I was actually very surprised than when I started asking for help or mentoring, people were very approachable and kind to me, and they actually helped me so much that I could progress. However, I learned this the wrong way, so if you cannot do something, or if you just simply do not understand a topic, or method, or analysis, ASK FOR HELP. You do not know everything, and you have a full community of experts in different areas than can definitely help. Do not be afraid and ask.

Just do it. Finally, after long months of planning, I started my thesis at the end of 2022. That was two years since I started my studies. I think the main reason was that back then, I was so insecure about myself, English is not my first language and I thought I did not have enough results or preliminary experiments to start writing about. How wrong I was! - what about all the literature review I have done? What about all the mistakes I made doing my first experiments and how they give me more insight for my next? I had so much to start with, but my mind, as always, was playing tricks with me. I would just say: Start that paragraph! -  Start that methodology! - Write that failed experiment! - reflect on the literature and write your thoughts and how you can implement this in your own research. My mistake was not feeling good enough about nothing and this definitely impacted since my start. What is the worst thing that can happen? We are all students. We are here to learn. Do that.

The end

I might have more stuff to share with you, but I think now this blog is too long.

I really wish you navigate smoothly during your studies and if you find yourself in the same position I have been from what you have read, start make some changes now before it is too late. And please, please, please… start writing. As soon as you can.

The best of luck