Pursuing a PhD in English Literature as an international student
Pursuing a PhD in English Literature as an international student
Hedieh Gharrat is a fiction writer based in Glasgow, Scotland. She is currently pursuing a PhD in researching the dark academia genre while crafting short stories inspired by Iranian folklore, fantasy, and gothic genres. When not writing, Hedieh enjoys reading, listening to music, and watching TV shows and films. An aspiring author, she looks forward to publishing her work in the future.
Undertaking a PhD is a tremendous and demanding feat. It is expensive, isolating and offers no guaranteed route to a prominent career. Adding the complexities of being an international student—coming from a country halfway across the world, separated from family, living alone while navigating academic discourse in a second language creates a rather daunting picture.
Mastering a language takes time—perhaps even a lifetime. Many native speakers often joke about how they don’t even know everything about their mother tongue, so how can one be expected to become fluent in a second language quickly and efficiently? These challenges become even more significant if you study English Literature.
Years ago, when I first decided to take an academic approach to learning English Literature, I had no concrete plans to apply to a university in the UK. While studying abroad was without a doubt, an exciting prospect, my primary motivation was the love of literature itself—the idea of reading, analysing and discussing books in depth was thrilling. However, back home professors would in rare instances, slip into the native language to help us understand the topics better. After all, we were learning about the histories, stories and people with whom we had little in common. Despite our passion for the subject, at the core there was always a gap, which only widened during my first year as a Masters (PGT) student at the University of Glasgow.
I was not entirely helpless but often during classes I found myself becoming acutely aware of how different my history was from that of my classmates. Most of them shared cultural anecdotes and had read the same books as a child, whereas I had not. These differences became particularly evident when writing assignments even though no one explicitly criticised the lack of sophisticated vocabulary or complex sentences, I was my own harshest critic. I expected myself to write publication-worthy essays, make great critical insights and keep pace with English speakers who had grown up with the language since childhood. All the while I was adjusting to a new country, a new academic system and a new way of thinking, which created an immense pressure to be on par with my peers. I expected myself to swiftly achieve the same level of fluency and comprehension. And when that didn’t happen, I started to feel discouraged.
However, things didn’t get as bad as I thought they would because they often don’t. As an overthinker, I was quick to jump to the worst conclusions, but over time I started to recognise the areas that most needed improving. My tutors provided constructive feedback on the aspects of my work that truly mattered and not my unsophisticated vocabulary, as I had suspected.
I did not finish at the top of my class, but neither did I fail. Looking back, I take immense pride in what I have achieved because to me it was nothing short of amazing. Those challenges I was able to overcome gave me the confidence to apply for a PhD. Had I not completed my PGT with reasonable grades, I might never have found the courage to pursue a higher degree.
Now, barely three months into my PhD, I still experience moments of doubt. Countless times I question my capabilities, wonder if my research topic holds any value, or whether I will be able to create something I’m proud of by the end of it.
Photo credit Hedieh Gharrat
Whenever these doubts arise, I take a step back and remind myself of where I was and how far I’ve come. I remind myself of how terrified I was to receive my first-ever grade for an assignment submitted to a foreign university. I recall the first time I stepped into a country I had never been to, one that I felt I needed to conquer in some sense. It is in these moments that I realise what a tremendous feat it has been to overcome those challenges—one that should never be taken lightly. And if I have conquered all that, I know I can do anything.
Blog post by Hedieh Gharrat MINI BIO student at the University of Glasgow
Photo credit Hedieh Gharrat
