Love Letter 2021: Most Inspiring (Winner)

The 2021 Love Letter to Your Thesis competition was the biggest yet, with so many incredible entries! Here is the winning letter in the “Most Inspiring” category, by Alex Wilson from the Brennan Lab…

My Dearest Thesis,

I want you to know that I understand, ok? I get it. We’re still relatively new. Everyone says a year is barely anything when it comes to these kinds of relationships, and you’ve got to go through the tough times to really appreciate the good times. It would just be nice if you let me have even one good time without pulling the rug from under my feet five minutes later. That’s all I’m asking for at this point, I really don’t think it’s that big of an ask. Sure, things were bright at the start. I was maybe a bit naïve, full of hope and optimism. Even when things started going downhill, it was still sunny and warm (ish, this is Glasgow after all), so it was easy to try and look past that and distract ourselves with the futile hope it would suddenly magically get better again. And now, well… now it’s cold, it’s dark out, and it feels like years since anything has worked even though it’s only been a few months. Of course, I could use the pandemic as a scapegoat, and don’t get me wrong it really hasn’t helped, but deep down we both know that isn’t the root of even half our problems.

Even so, I promise you I’m still here, and I’m still trying.

I hope you see the effort I’m putting into you. The number of papers I’ve read just to try and understand you better. I’m in the lab every chance I get trying to get these experiments to work, trying to give you something to work with. I know that preliminary data isn’t enough to keep you happy, but it’s a start alright? It also wouldn’t kill you to meet me half-way, hell at this point I’d take you giving me an inch. Sometimes it feels like you expect me to be psychic, but how am I supposed to know what tweaks to make to get things rolling? I want you to have everything you need, but that’s not always the way lab work goes. It’s hard to work with you when every time I ask a question you seem to make this song and dance but never give me a real answer. Also, just so you know, my masters thesis was never this difficult…

Sorry, that was mean, I know it’s not fair to compare you two. This is the long-term real thing, not some four-month fling I can look back on with rose-tinted glasses. Plus, despite it all, I don’t want you thinking I hate you. I know I complain, and I whine, but to be honest I don’t think I’ve ever been happier. Yeah, you’re a challenge, but let’s face it I’m not exactly the easiest person to get along with sometimes (read: most of the time). In some ways I guess you could say we’re the perfect match. You know I’m too stubborn to give up on you, and I will do whatever it takes to make this work because I can’t imagine doing anything else with my life. Taking this step has brought out qualities within myself that I didn’t even know were there. You make me more patient, more considerate, and even when I can’t get a single thing to work I still find that at the end of the day I’m proud of myself. Just to be carrying on, even just to have gotten this far. I finally feel like I’ve found a place to belong in, a place I earned. You make me appreciate myself, maybe for the first time ever, and I don’t think there’s a proper way to express how grateful I am for that.

I guess I hope this letter will do.

Yours always,

A

Alex’s PhD looks at why certain species of viruses are carried exclusively by ticks