Love Letter to Your Thesis: Most Playful (Runner Up)

The results are finally in! The standard of entries in this year’s competition was exceptionally high. We hope you enjoy reading them as much as we did.

Dear thesis,

Happy that I can have an opportunity to type these arbitrary and ungrounded sentences that you don’t like.  

I love you and you married me, but, why you married me without telling me? I fell in love with you one year ago. You are crazily interesting and I think you deserve my affection, but listen to me, my dear, I never expect you take over my life so much like a marriage. You are such a skillful pick-up artist.

 I love you but you did not tell me that you have three children (three, as far as I know) to bring up, one named “publication”—the most irritating one, and the other two named “conference” and “blog”—haven’t got a chance to meet yet. How many other such “surprises” you have prepared for me? 

I love you but could you please leave me alone when I am cooking? Could you please do not wake me up at midnight anymore? I know that I am the only one in your world, but please don’t be that clingy.

To my great relief, we are just in a “contract marriage”—for three years. No more extension please. The children are innocent. I can raise them up anyway. They are more important than you, aren’t they?  

Oh, wait, I must stop here. I just came up with an excellent idea for your Literature Review. I will go for you right now.

 One more thing, can you surprise me by revising yourself automatically to be perfect? Look forward to that.

Love you for three years (32 months left),

Qian Jiang